this is actually a continuation of the last post!
teh reason it hurt so much was because it was true. ever heard the old saying, "the truth hurts"?
well it does. and part of teh reason, actually most of the reason was because i was pissed off with myself. teh rest was just self pity and a misplaced anger! just like me!
well, it is time to reconsider my existence. just not as dramatically as i might have led you to believe! change is necessary! change is good! a change is coming! a rather dramatic lift from teh worst batman movie ever made (batman and robin!)
tahts it...will be back later and types soemthing more meaningful and with less typos...
Friday 29 August 2008
Thursday 28 August 2008
is there a reason?
is there a reason for anything? is there a purpose for being here? i believe there is, which is what makes me look forward to the future. not tomorrow but past that. the unforseeable future. its exciting and soemtyimes God makes sure that you can see something awesome right up ahead.
but the powers that oppose, the evil in this world, and life in itself throws you curve balls to upset your rhythm. call it chane or fate. call it bad karma. call it a lousy morning. its all the same old shit. something that makes you question the very core of your existence.
or maybe its just hearing your father tell you that you're useless, a burden, and your only contribution to their lives has been to bleed them dry. and when tehy need you the most, you look away, walk away.
well, i understand that we're going through a bad time but somethings go beyond the superficial and cut deep. so deep taht it throws you off balance and you can't think straight. so deep taht you reconsider your existence.
but the powers that oppose, the evil in this world, and life in itself throws you curve balls to upset your rhythm. call it chane or fate. call it bad karma. call it a lousy morning. its all the same old shit. something that makes you question the very core of your existence.
or maybe its just hearing your father tell you that you're useless, a burden, and your only contribution to their lives has been to bleed them dry. and when tehy need you the most, you look away, walk away.
well, i understand that we're going through a bad time but somethings go beyond the superficial and cut deep. so deep taht it throws you off balance and you can't think straight. so deep taht you reconsider your existence.
Friday 22 August 2008
I need to know!!
It's something that struck me earlier today. Why do we use the wall feature on facebook or the scrap feature on orkut? Is it simply for the ease of communication or is it that at some base level, we want people to know what's going on in our lives. Maybe we want poeple to snoop around, and the fact that they do somehow makes us feel good. It's just a thought, but I think its true.
I'll admit that the main reason is to keep in touch with friends and maybe get in touch with people we've, you know, lost touch with. And it works. It allows you to put your prejudices aside and get though to people you've not spoken to in a long time. If they don't respond then you've probably only wasted around 5 mintues, contributed .00001% to your future carpel tunnel problems, even less contribution to future eye strain and without losing an ounce of self respect. No reply? No care!
I love facebook. It gives me something to do when I'm bored, which I am most of the time. I mean, work isn't really the best distraction and it doesn't really occupy my mind. So I dont really have much to do. Not that Facebook is an intellectuals paradise. Most of the stuff on there is pretty lame, but it allows you to do them without the need to explain yourself. I mean, I could be a Zeus, Snake, an automatic rifleman and a catholic school girl, all the while bring a combination of a werewolf, a zombie and a vampire. Now tell me that isn't cool!
I haven't been blogging much of late. That is an understatement because it's been approximately 2 years since I have seriously blogged. It's more sporadic now but back in the day, for almost a year, I did blog with surprising promptitude. i'm not really big on routines and uniformity but my blog was updzated regularly. And I had something to say. But more importantly, I had somebody who'd read by random rants and the outpouring of my secrets. We formed a sort of bond, some of us on those pages that I think is really cool. I remember three people in particular who have left lasting impressions on me. Miss Contrary, the Mystical Pixie and Lil Miss Disaster, in no particular order.
What drew me most to these three very different ladies was their honesty. You could right from the first line that their page was a manifestation of who they were. They used their blogs as a way to clear their minds, or as Miss C once said, their blog was cathartic. Funnily enough, i was going through the same phase in my life and it drew me to their pages. We've long since left those pages idle, but we still keep in touch, albeit sporadically.
Somehow now, I'm in need of some catharsis. Too long have I been in this rut that I find myself today. And for a while I didn't feel the need to move on. I was happy. Settlled! And not in the mould that all Indian mothers pray for their children. I left the world in a sense to live in my own reality. All the while going through the motins that would be described as everyday life. i wake up, go thework late, mechanically finish my calls and then head home to eat and maybe watch a movie. Routine! And I didn't care because I didn't have to think.
But Gokarna changed all that. It's cliched beyond belief but it's true. Not that I had any sort of spiritual awakening but watching the people around me led to teh conclusion that there's more to life than just being alive. To understand life you have to live it and that means using the greatest gift God has given us, our brain, take some risks and live life. A little pain, some embarrasment here and there, a dash of humiliation and a whole load of critisim will not take away from the euphoria of being alive. The list of adjectives in the previous sentence tells me that I am no better than the Indian authors that I hate so shall stop.
But let me just say this, a man from Jamaica named Usain Bolt ran faster than any man has before. He accomplished a feat that no one els has. He pushed himself to the limit in teh pursuit of a life long dream. Most of us are reluctant to chase our dreams with that kind of passion because we fear that if, if we ever achieve them, we'd have nothing left to strive for. That life would reach it's pinnacle. Where do we go from there? The answer is simple. We move forward, we fight to reach new goals and create new opportunites. Maybe we fight for poeple who cannot fight for themselves. Maybe we open doors that were previously shut. Maybe, just maybe, once we realize our dreams, we go out and help people achieve theirs. We live! We really live. We will fail for sure. Many times, but the taste of defeat will only be so much sweeter on D-day!
Go with God my brothers and sisters. Maybe we'll change the world. Maybe we won't. But we'll have tried and we'll have lived.
Peace and love.
I'll admit that the main reason is to keep in touch with friends and maybe get in touch with people we've, you know, lost touch with. And it works. It allows you to put your prejudices aside and get though to people you've not spoken to in a long time. If they don't respond then you've probably only wasted around 5 mintues, contributed .00001% to your future carpel tunnel problems, even less contribution to future eye strain and without losing an ounce of self respect. No reply? No care!
I love facebook. It gives me something to do when I'm bored, which I am most of the time. I mean, work isn't really the best distraction and it doesn't really occupy my mind. So I dont really have much to do. Not that Facebook is an intellectuals paradise. Most of the stuff on there is pretty lame, but it allows you to do them without the need to explain yourself. I mean, I could be a Zeus, Snake, an automatic rifleman and a catholic school girl, all the while bring a combination of a werewolf, a zombie and a vampire. Now tell me that isn't cool!
I haven't been blogging much of late. That is an understatement because it's been approximately 2 years since I have seriously blogged. It's more sporadic now but back in the day, for almost a year, I did blog with surprising promptitude. i'm not really big on routines and uniformity but my blog was updzated regularly. And I had something to say. But more importantly, I had somebody who'd read by random rants and the outpouring of my secrets. We formed a sort of bond, some of us on those pages that I think is really cool. I remember three people in particular who have left lasting impressions on me. Miss Contrary, the Mystical Pixie and Lil Miss Disaster, in no particular order.
What drew me most to these three very different ladies was their honesty. You could right from the first line that their page was a manifestation of who they were. They used their blogs as a way to clear their minds, or as Miss C once said, their blog was cathartic. Funnily enough, i was going through the same phase in my life and it drew me to their pages. We've long since left those pages idle, but we still keep in touch, albeit sporadically.
Somehow now, I'm in need of some catharsis. Too long have I been in this rut that I find myself today. And for a while I didn't feel the need to move on. I was happy. Settlled! And not in the mould that all Indian mothers pray for their children. I left the world in a sense to live in my own reality. All the while going through the motins that would be described as everyday life. i wake up, go thework late, mechanically finish my calls and then head home to eat and maybe watch a movie. Routine! And I didn't care because I didn't have to think.
But Gokarna changed all that. It's cliched beyond belief but it's true. Not that I had any sort of spiritual awakening but watching the people around me led to teh conclusion that there's more to life than just being alive. To understand life you have to live it and that means using the greatest gift God has given us, our brain, take some risks and live life. A little pain, some embarrasment here and there, a dash of humiliation and a whole load of critisim will not take away from the euphoria of being alive. The list of adjectives in the previous sentence tells me that I am no better than the Indian authors that I hate so shall stop.
But let me just say this, a man from Jamaica named Usain Bolt ran faster than any man has before. He accomplished a feat that no one els has. He pushed himself to the limit in teh pursuit of a life long dream. Most of us are reluctant to chase our dreams with that kind of passion because we fear that if, if we ever achieve them, we'd have nothing left to strive for. That life would reach it's pinnacle. Where do we go from there? The answer is simple. We move forward, we fight to reach new goals and create new opportunites. Maybe we fight for poeple who cannot fight for themselves. Maybe we open doors that were previously shut. Maybe, just maybe, once we realize our dreams, we go out and help people achieve theirs. We live! We really live. We will fail for sure. Many times, but the taste of defeat will only be so much sweeter on D-day!
Go with God my brothers and sisters. Maybe we'll change the world. Maybe we won't. But we'll have tried and we'll have lived.
Peace and love.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
